All must die…!!

Coming to the concept of death and the fear of being left alone, I think each person is his own self. I cannot change how you are and vice versa. It is only the turn of events in our lives that change us. 2018 was a year that has changed me. I am not self conscious anymore. To be honest I do not care as much as I did earlier. I think we all have one thing in common: we are all going to die. Why 2018 changed me? It was a strange year for me. I lost many people I loved and cared about. Something that had not happened to me before. Only person who I really loved and who died were my grandparents and a friend who committed suicide. But both of these events happened when I was a teenager and couldn’t feel like the way I do right now.

1.       In April 2018, I lost a good friend in a car accident. He was in the debate and discussion committee with me in law school. He is survived by his parents. He was their only child. He was an intelligent person and one of the people I enjoyed talking to, the most.

2.       In June 2018, I lost another friend. He was my drinking buddy. He was a very happy go lucky person and one of the most fun people to hang out with. He was just 36 when he was diagnosed with advanced stage of blood cancer and died within a month. He is serviced by his widow and a one year old son.

3.       In August 2018, I lost another friend. He was one of the physically strongest people I knew. He was just a beast and you cannot imagine someone with such good health dying so young. He was a couple of year younger to me and died at the age of 28 in a car accident. He is survived by his wife and a daughter who is a few months old.

4.       In August 2018, my best friend lost his mother. I was very close to the family. In fact I can still feel the taste of the wonderful dishes that his mom used to prepare for us. She was one of the best cooks I knew and one of the coolest aunts I could have. My friend has still not been able to get over the loss of his mom.

5.       In November 2018, I lost my father in law. This one was really difficult. I was greatly attached to my father in law and I always thought he was the last link between me and my wife. He was also my drinking buddy and we used to hang out often without the need for anybody else in our families. He was diagnosed of stage IV kidney cancer which had become metastatic and he died within a month. In fact sometimes in the evening I still feel like calling him and asking him if he’s up for a couple of drinks and then I realize that I cannot contact him anymore.

6.       In December 2018 I lost an uncle. I had not seen him for a couple of years and I wish I had been able to spend more time with him. He was the best looking uncle I had amongst so many maternal uncles I have. He was an absolute stud. He died at the age of 45 from alcohol and depression.  This was the only avoidable death amongst the ones I have mentioned.

I think you understand why 2018 has changed me. I am trying to look at it positively. Death is inevitable. You, me and everyone we know will die. I don’t think we can fight it, we can just take good care of our healths. You may not be left alone and may die before the people you love. You may die after them but I think it does not matter. There are civilizations in this world which celebrate death and treat it as a part of life (some tribes in Africa, also the Vikings). That is where renunciation and letting go of expectations become important. I think I have told you this many times. It may not be for you but the truth is you are already alone and so am I. We are wrong to expect people to be taking care of us. People we love should be taking care of themselves.